“Shut Up Legs” is a phrase that those into cycling will no doubt be familiar with, sadly it’s a phrase I’ve become far too familiar with since the turn of the year!
It’s the point where your legs are screaming at you, they’ve had enough, they want to give up and are trying every tactic in the book to get into your head and mentally defeat you. You put up with the screams from your legs for so long, then you break, you can take no more of it’s dulcet tones and out blurts that phrase…… “Shut Up Legs!”
Inevitably your outburst will draw some confused and weird looks from anyone in the vicinity, looking at you as though you’re some kind of weirdo, a loony, someone who has escaped from the funny farm! If they’ve never ridden a bike for any great length of time they just won’t understand, they won’t understand the pain you’re going through, the way you literally fall off the bike after a hard day in the saddle in galeforce winds and torrential rain, yet still claim to of thoroughly enjoyed it, even with the pain etched clearly across your face! That’s the pain I’m talking about, we love it really but would love our legs to just shut up at times and let us get on with the task ahead.
Having experienced that pain the other week when out with Gilly I was hoping it was a blip, hoping that my real legs would quickly return and no-one would be none the wiser. Sadly that was not the case when I headed out last Sunday, mother’s day. I headed out with Ian Hockey, someone who hasn’t been out on his bike for over 6 months, yet someone who has an iron man under his belt so his level of unfitness is a level of fitness most of us would be delighted to have!
We headed over the Eaglesham Moors, it was at the first climb, the climb out of Eaglesham after the cross roads, that I was rudely informed that my real legs hadn’t been returned as of yet. Bloody Royal Mail, probably still lost in transit somewhere! Here we go again I thought as I tried to drown out the screams. I did however manage to defeat the screaming legs come the 2nd half of the Moors, as my legs loosened off a little.
The rest of the ride, all 39 miles of it went fairly smoothly, even into a strong headwind on the A77. My legs did start to grumble a couple of times but I managed to blank them out and not let them get into my head or defeat me.
So why are my legs doing this to me? The million dollar question eh! I’ve been doing two Spin Classes a week at the gym and been feeling good but when I hit the road the legs just don’t want to play ball. After a chat with Gilly last night he told me not to worry about it too much as it’s still early in the season. That I know, but Mallorca is only four weeks away on Saturday!
Oh well, I’ll just need to stick to it and continue to beat the pain barrier and not let the legs gain victory over me.
In the meantime if anyone sees my proper legs kicking about the Royal Mail sorting office then please send them my way! Failing that if you see any legs kicking about unattached then send them my way too. Preferably two the same length and colour although not essential, just as long as they work!