‘Twas the Night Before the Graeme Obree Sportive

‘Twas the night before the Graeme Obree Sportive and I, Stu Russell, Directeur Sportif of the Whitelee Warriors, had received some intel on a member of the team who would be racing tomorrow.

Not wanting to mention names and land Gilly in it, I received a visit from Gilly in person bringing to my attention that not only was Chris out for an Indian, he also had an empty this evening. For those who don’t know, an “Empty” is a term used by the young cool kids, for having an empty house, the parents are away which usually results in a drunken party annoying the neighbours. In this instance it was the parents that had an “Empty” from the kids!

Due this revelation I had no option but to send this text message to Chris:

I hear you have an empty tonight and would just like to bring rule 6.4 to your attention.

6.4 Sexual intercourse with a member of the same sex, opposite sex, animals or Pam and her five sisters is not permitted the night before a big race.

Stuart Russell
Directeur Sportif
Whitelee Warriors

Gilly panicked when he heard Chris was out for a curry as he thinks Chris is feeding himself up so he doesn’t need to stop at the feed stations! Surely Chris wouldn’t pull a dirty trick like that on you Gilly? 😉

With that taken care of it was time to get my kit looked out and get my breakfast ready for tomorrow morning as Stevie is picking me up at 6:30am!

Breakfast Sorted for Tomorrow Morning
Breakfast Sorted for Tomorrow Morning

Looking forward to what will be a tough 68 miles with plenty of challenging climbs to deal with. Hopefully the weather will be kind to us!

Stu